Friendsgiving How-To: Host the Night Everyone Talks About

Friendsgiving is the younger, cooler cousin of Thanksgiving. No family drama, no dry turkey, no aunt asking why you’re still single. Just your favorite people, good food, and the kind of laughter that makes you forget what time it is.

Hosting it yourself might sound like a lot, but you can absolutely pull it off. Whether your dining table seats eight or your couch does most of the heavy lifting, you can create a night that feels warm, relaxed, and a little bit sexy.

Here’s how to host Friendsgiving and make it one for the books.

Set the Scene Without Losing Your Mind

You don’t need to transform your apartment into a Pinterest spread. Focus on the vibe, not perfection.

Lighting:

Dim the overheads and use soft table lamps or candles.
Fairy lights or string bulbs add instant atmosphere.
If your space has harsh lighting, use a warm-toned bulb to soften the room.

Table Setup:

Mix and match what you have. Paper plates and antique ? Totally fine.
Keep a cohesive color scheme. Warm neutrals, gold accents, or deep jewel tones feel luxe.
Use cloth napkins if you have them. Tie with twine or ribbon for an effortless finish.

Scents:

Because you don’t want to overpower the food or those with sensitivities, avoid anything too pungent or overpowering near the food. Unscented is a better option.
A light fall-scented candle in the bathroom can be a blessing for everyone invited. Pick up a bottle of Poopouri and you’ll be a most considerate host.

Music:

Start with something mellow while people arrive, then move into soul, funk, or chill pop as the night warms up.
Create a playlist ahead of time so you’re not DJ-ing mid-dinner.
Keep the music on the quieter side (at least to start and while eating. What happens to the volume for the after-dinner dance party is totally up to you!)

Plan a Menu That Feels Fancy but Is Actually Easy

This is not the night to test a new soufflé recipe. The goal is abundance without stress. Go for food that can be made ahead or assembled last minute.

Starters:

Cheese and charcuterie board (add a drizzle of honey and some figs for drama).
Roasted nuts with rosemary and sea salt.
A simple fall salad with pears, pecans, and blue cheese.

Main Ideas:

Roast chicken or Cornish hens instead of turkey. They cook faster and look chic on the table.
A big pan of baked mac and cheese.
Roasted vegetables with olive oil and herbs.
A hearty grain dish like farro with mushrooms or wild rice with cranberries.

Pro Tips: Allow Guests in on the Menu Action

People genuinely LOVE to assist in parties they’re invited to. Let them! Ask everyone to bring one dish they love to make. Guests will happily describe their dish and bonus: much less work for you!

Give gentle categories like “veggies,” “carbs,” or “dessert” to avoid six trays of mashed potatoes.
If someone doesn’t cook, tell them to bring a bottle of wine, spirits, or juice. And if you love the person, but don’t trust their judgment one iota, instruct them to bring a or jar of gherkins or an extra bag of ice. Two party essentials that no one can mess up!

Make It Pretty, Not Perfect

You want your guests to walk in and instantly relax. That happens when your space looks loved, not staged.

Easy Decor Wins:

Lay a linen or paper runner down your table. Scatter a few mini pumpkins or small vases of flowers.
Mix candle heights for texture.
Add greenery or herbs to your serving platters for that extra touch.

Last-Minute Tricks:

Clear clutter into a closet (or bathtub if the closet is already spoken for).
Keep a stack of clean dish towels handy for any quick wipe-downs.
Pour yourself a glass of wine and sit down for 5 minuets before guests arrive. Nothing sets the tone like a calm host.

Timing Is Everything

You don’t need a rigid schedule, but a loose flow keeps the night smooth.

Suggested Timeline:

1-2 days before: Grocery shop, prep side and main dishes, pull out and clean kitchen and tableware (especially if it hasn't been used since LAST November).
The night before: Clean house, chill drinks, set your table.
About 2 hours before (recipe dependent): Prepare dishes for the oven. Set up the room temp items of your drink station. If you have pets, now is the time to take them on a walk and/or clean the litter box.
1 hour before: Clean the kitchen as much as possible, take out trash, stow any unneeded gadgets on the counter. Make yourself gorgeous!
30 minutes before: Light candles, cue music, pull out cold items for your drink station, pull out bag of ice.
15 minutes before: Walk through house one more time, pour yourself something bubbly, dry, or soothing. Take deep breaths…

During Dinner:

Whether you set up a buffet or serve family-style so everyone passes plates is dependent. Decide ahead of time what system will work best.
Don’t disappear into the kitchen for long stretches. People remember your laughter more than your gravy.

Keep It Flowing

A great Friendsgiving feels like it unfolds naturally, even if you secretly planned it. Keep the energy moving.

Icebreakers That Aren’t Cringey:

Ask everyone to share a small “win” from the past year.
Play “rose, thorn, and bud” (best thing, hardest thing, and what you’re looking forward to).
Or simply toast to surviving adulthood together.

Games or Activities:

Card games or party games like “We’re Not Really Strangers” or “Quiplash” on the TV.
A group photo session with a Polaroid or film camera.
Music guessing games after dessert if people still have energy.

Dessert: The Grand Finale

Dessert doesn’t need to be homemade to impress. Focus on flavor and presentation.

Easy Wins:

Store-bought pie with whipped cream and a sprinkle of cinnamon sugar.
Chocolate bark broken into irregular pieces.
Ice cream or frozen custard in chic little cups.

This is where you bring in something indulgent like Crème de Liqueur. A scoop of liquor-infused frozen custard feels grown-up and unexpected. Serve it in small glasses or espresso cups with a drizzle of caramel or shaved chocolate. It’s sweet, creamy, and just naughty enough to be memorable.